Black Man, What Does It Mean To Be You?

After purging myself from this mindset, I learned that masculinity is the trait of a protector, provider, motivator.

I am also a double graduate of North Carolina A&T State University where I obtained both my Bachelors of Industrial & Systems Engineering and Masters of Technology Management degrees. I got it all out of the way while I had the time!

I’m currently employed with a major healthcare company called Abbott where I work as an Environmental Health & Safety Specialist.

In my free time, I like to read, chill with my wife, and listen to music. In the warmer months, I love to spend time outside enjoying nature and getting walks in. I’ve learned that there’s so much beauty given to us through God’s creations!

“Stop crying! Real men don’t cry!” This is one of the first things I can remember hearing from cousins because I really was a cry-baby at the time lol. I had a lot of tough relatives who fit the persona of what I thought of masculinity. Over a period of time, I started to become much less expressive of how I felt for fear of being labeled “feminine” or “a punk”. I’m still in the process of learning how to filter what I feel and express myself while still being strong and confident in who I am.  

I vividly remember many conversations with my mom about navigating the uncomfortable realities of living in “White America”. She would talk to me about how I may have to work twice as hard just to be counted somewhat equal with my white counterparts, how I should be respectful to law enforcement AT ALL TIMES, fully complying with whatever is asked of me, and even how to code switch in professional settings. Most importantly, she would always remind me that because I’m a big and tall black man that I can seem intimidating and sometimes threatening, so I should be conscious of my demeanor and outward appearance. These are all lessons that have helped me handle the struggles of being black.

Most importantly, she would always remind me that because I’m a big and tall black man that I can seem intimidating and sometimes threatening, so I should be conscious of my demeanor and outward appearance.

I would define masculinity as the major characteristics that frame the true essence of a man. This initial “definition” originated from the examples seen on television and movies at an early age. I was programmed to believe that a man MUST be assertive, dominant, strong, and one to take control. Not soft-spoken, gentle, passive, and emotional – I used to view this as feminine until I began to mature into a young man. After purging myself from this mindset, I learned that masculinity is the trait of a protector, provider, motivator. I’ve seen these examples in my father, brothers, uncles, and male mentors. These men are leaders in taking care of their families / loved ones.

Being a black man is all about reminding myself of the rich legacy that I’ve been blessed to be a part of. The sacrifices that my forefathers made to get me here motivates me to continue pressing forward in my pursuit of greatness. Although I’m faced with many struggles just because of the color of my skin, it doesn’t keep me from being an example to those other young black men who may look up to me. 

Being a black man encompasses resilience, character, and strength!

Since I’m bald, there’s very little to do there. But my beard gets ALL of my attention on the regular. I have the advantage of being married to a cosmetologist, so she helps me find the right products to keep my beard in good health and teaches me how to use them. My beard is tightly curled, coarse and thick. I get it shaped up bi-weekly by my wife, and she provides a treatment varying on whatever my beard needs at the time. After treatment, she seals in the moisture with a homemade beard balm made with some secret ingredients (I can’t tell yall lol) and oil. Right now my favorite oils are Africa’s Best Herbal Oil and Jamaican Black Castor Oil (Mango & Lime).

Being a black man encompasses resilience, character, and strength!

Honestly, prayer has been one of the activities that help me keep my stress levels down. Not to be too deep, but taking time to relieve my stresses and cares unto Christ has helped me stay sane throughout the pandemic craziness and the recurring pains of losing loved ones. Also taking time to get out of the house and get fresh air helps me to think about the blessings I’ve been given even though the world is in chaos. I’m learning that being thankful for life changes my mindset and my outlook improves. I have to self-evaluate and remember that it could be much worse!

To all the readers, whether male or female, remember that you are valuable! No matter what color your skin is, you are a beautiful reflection of God!! Each of your experiences make you who you are – uniquely different and exceptional. Be confident in who you are and remain true to yourself, no matter the challenges that you’re faced with!!